


Tell me who you love

by sapphicxrey



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Cute, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Morning Kisses, Nightmares, Romance, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22150996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicxrey/pseuds/sapphicxrey
Summary: The war may be won, but that doesn't mean the two Generals of the Resistance can escape its claws that easily. Terrors plague their nights and even if those visions won't leave them alone— they have each other.
Relationships: Forcepilot - relationship, Poe Dameron & Finn, Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 22
Kudos: 285





	Tell me who you love

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by Oscar Isaac's song "Green, green, rocky road"

No matter which path Poe takes, there is only one way for his dreams to end. Academically, he knows they won the war, two whole days had passed of absolute victory; cheers and news of sublimation flourishing across the galaxy.

It doesn’t matter, the terrors that plagued his nights come back, dutiful as ever. Poe wants to scream, “this is my dream, I decide how it goes!”. He wishes his nightmares were solid so he could charge at them from his  _ Black One _ , if he dies that way at least he would have some peace.

Tonight is no different, Poe’s back in that cell in the Finalizer. He didn’t know it at the time, but he had endured being asked the same question a little more than eight hundred times; then more torturing methods, 2265, 6304, 3333 and HB-A4, Poe recites from memory after having read the report a dozen times.

In real life, by the time Ren’d got to the room, he had felt numb with pain, he remembers thinking he wouldn’t be able to feel something else in his life, if he lived at all; however, during his sleepless dreams, it’s like someone had twisted the settings in his brain, everything is brighter than it should be, everything hurts more.

And then, Ren strides in the chamber. Poe feels it again, as forceful as the first time, Ren opening his brain, the ghost of fingers pulling open every memory, every detail; Ren is kicking his way to what he wants, Poe can’t do it, he can’t survive this time, the Force is destroying everything in the way, destroying him. 

He screams, he won’t make it, not this time. It’s too much for anyone, too much even—

Poe opens his eyes, the room is so pitch black that for a second he expects to see stormtrooper helmets guarding him. He groans, sitting up. His breathing isn’t slowing down but Poe forces himself to take in where he really is, his quarters, at night, he’s won a war, he’s ok, whole. 

His hand wanders the messy floor, and as quickly as he grabs his battered wooden instrument, he’s out, not risking looking in the direction of his friend, his co-general. 

Marching the corridors of their base in Ajan Kloss, Poe thinks about how there isn’t a chance in hell he would allow himself to wake up Finn. The guy had stayed up for more than a day preparing missions and meetings, when Poe got to their shared quarters Finn had already passed out in the bed. He had just thrown a blanket on top of him, trying not to blush at the intimacy of the moment and took the smaller couch in the other side of the room. 

It had happened too quickly, after their victory more and more representatives of planets and movements came to talk to the Generals of the Resistance; there simply hadn’t been enough space and everyone had to bunk, no matter the title. At the moment, it’d made sense to move Finn miniscule list of possessions to Poe’s own quarters. __

_ Kriff _ , he even had  _ fun _ doing it. There is just this easy way he moves around Finn, they understand each other better than Poe wants to admit. 

Poe is so deep in thought, trying to make sense of everything, he barely registers where he is before he stumbles against a bench, he’s lucky to not have his face melted against one of the bonfires the celebrations had left on. 

“ _ Kriff _ , who the hell put this thing here?” Poe murmurs under his breath, pulling himself together quickly.

He isn’t alone.

“Good morning to you too, Poe.”

Poe swallows, he had been in such a hurry to leave the room if he hadn’t even checked if Finn was actually  _ there _ . 

Finn pats the space beside him on the bench, “Ren again?” His friend asks, his voice so full of care it warms Poe more than the crackling fire in front of him.

“Yeah, buddy,” Poe replies, concerned for his friend sweeping into him, “you should sleep though, when was the last time you knocked more than three hours of sleep in a row?”

Finn doesn’t answer, but he cracks a smile, knowing Poe can’t resist one of those. 

“What you got there?” Finn points to Poe’s hands.

He has to admit he had lost track of everything, too lost in his friend. The fire crackled, the light casts dancing flames across Finn’s features, twisting and curling in unknown shapes; providing a gleaming cloak of light for him. It is mesmerizing to watch, colours of orange and red giving way to yellow and white.

Poe would call Finn a star, but that wasn’t bright enough.

“A guitar.” He manages to say, swaying the instrument a little.

Curious eyes look back at him, studying the crooked piece of wood Poe loved so much. He loses himself again in Finn’s angles and curves, drinking him is intoxicating, adrenaline pumping through him. 

Suddenly, his friend arches an eyebrow, does he have something on the— Oh, right, the guitar.

“I could play you something, how does that sound?”

Finn all but beams at Poe. _ He’s so screwed. _

Tentative fingers brush the strings, Poe adjusts everything though he knows it can’t be that bad since he had done this exactly the night before, sneaking and playing the instrument till he’d been too exhausted to think.

He tries some cords, what should he play to Finn? He doesn’t want something too heartfelt that ends with him showing his heart on his sleeve, maybe he —

Poe looks up to Finn who just gasped loudly, eyes transfixed on the strings. His mouth opens up, a question lingering on his lips till he looks down.  _ Oh.  _

_ Fireflies. _

“Oh, hey, little buddy.” Poe speaks softly to the little insect he hadn’t notice in the guitar strings.

The insect takes off, emitting a powerful glow while joining its other little friends. Poe laughs as Finn squirms a bit when one of them approaches him, “not many of these inside those ships, huh?”

“What  _ are _ they, Poe?”

A smile crosses his face, he’s fully aware that for most of his upbringing, Finn had stayed inside spaceships and although they had visited a good dozen of planets while on missions, his General had lots to learn yet.

“Fireflies, we have them in Yavin too, not every planet does though,” he explains, “must be something about the tropical weather.”

Finn is only half listening to Poe, too dumbstruck at the glimmering creatures. After so many nights of darkness, the frozen explosion that dances around them is a welcomed relief. 

The insects look peaceful and seem to like Finn, softly buzzing around him. Poe watches Finn’s stance relax, now knowing there isn’t a threat in sight; his heart is tight, he couldn’t wait for him to start living out there for the first time, experiencing all the galaxy has to offer. 

“They seem…” Finn says, “friendly.”

Indeed, the firefly glow now circling the man. Finn looks like a long lost prince, of good nature and loving compared to Poe’s scruffy looks and purple bags under his eyes, “I guess it’s just easy to like you, buddy.”

Finn locks his eyes on Poe’s but doesn’t say anything. _ Kriff, _ he turns away. He had  _ meant  _ it. His co-General is easy to love, all eager smiles and soft looks; funny, loyal, the best of friends, what’s not to like? 

But the words hadn’t sound friendly  _ enough _ , not for Poe to be able to keep this up. Whatever it is. The scenery is too intimate, they share a room for hell’s sake, it’s not like he isn’t used to Finn, he  _ is _ . 

It’s just the fiery lights casted on Finn’s lips, it’s the lovely buzzing of the fireflies, it’s Poe offering to sing for him only. Looks just like a scene taken out of Poe’s teenage years, with his dad telling stories about the old Rebellion heroes, it had been in a woods not different than this where he had his first kiss, those all those years ago…

Something clicks, Poe starts remembering some cords and lyrics. 

“I think I got it, buddy.”

Finn gives him an encouraging smile, moving closer to the pilot, “let’s hear it.”

His fingertips create the first chords to “Green, green, rocky road”, a song he has heard a million times while Kes watered their garden or her mom cleaned the house; he had learned the song easy enough, the notes just making sense to him, a part of his nature. He remembers all those long summer days when he would sing it for hours at a time, trying to get everything down to show off later.

Laughter bubbles inside Poe’s chest, looking back at Finn, there is only one person in the whole galaxy he wants to share his music with; he’s so damn lucky to have that person sitting next to him. 

In an hour the sun will raise up and the little flying lights would retreat, leaving them alone with a melody so warm, it flows around them, full with ups and downs, some turns only barely audible. The guitar sings to them, creating a bubble for the two lost Generals of a won cause. 

Poe doesn’t even notice he starts singing until the first lyrics are down. He blushes deeply, not sure at how good his voice is after a nightmare in the early morning, but Finn doesn’t seem to mind.

“See that crow up in the sky?” Poe continues singing, cracking a laugh as Finn fakes a little bird sighting adventure. “He don’t walk, but he just fly.”

Finn shoots him a knowing look, they had joked a thousand times about how Poe would marry his spaceship if he could, “guess you are stuck with me then, General,” Finn had teased him yesterday. They had laughed, Poe ignoring the knot in his throat.

“Howlin' green, green rocky road,” the song goes.

Poe’s confident enough now to stare back at Finn, knowing he won’t mess up the melody as muscle memory kicks through him. 

For a second, his heart stops just as, without thinking it through, Poe sings to Finn’s gaze, “tell me who you love, tell me who you love.”

He opens his eyes wide and knowing, calculating his chances of just hopping in his X-Wing and flying to the other side of the universe, far away from Finn’s questioning look. 

The melody falls dead on Poe’s hands, the crackling of the bonfire almost deafening. 

“Finn, I—”

“You wanted to know what I had to tell Rey,” Finn shuts him up.

In Poe’s defense, he hadn’t thought it through, the song made so much sense at the time and he had been too eager at the prospect of Finn’s smile.

“Only if you want to share it, buddy.” His voice comes out like the faintest whisper and if the dead of the night wasn’t there, Finn wouldn’t have been able to hear him.

Finn moves away from Poe. He would have prefered to have himself beat up than seeing his friend pulling away from him. 

The twist in his stomach isn’t letting him breathe correctly. Poe clocks his surroundings, his desire to kick himself senseless growing with the knowledge that he had pressured Finn, his loving friend, who had never been allowed to go at his own rhythm.

_ Good one, Dameron. _

Finn beside him moves, coming back to his original position by Poe’s side, their knees touching. The man had grabbed two tiny oval stones from the ground, a light gray in contrast with Finn’s dark skin. 

In silent, Finn took one of Poe’s hands into his, studying the pilot’s face in search of any sign of discomfort. 

His friend is making sure _ he’s _ ok, because that’s Finn, sweet and caring Finn who doesn’t realize there isn’t any world in which Poe wouldn’t be over the moon to get to touch Finn’s hand, to hold it against his own. 

“Just watch, ok?” Finn asks, softly.

Poe tries to pull himself together and stares at the two little stones. By his side, Finn takes in a long breath and closes his eyes, a little wrinkle of concentration appearing between his brows and Poe is overcome with a sudden need to smooth it out. 

Instead, he plays his role dutifully, squeezing Finn’s hand reassuringly and looks back at the two tiny gray dots. 

Suddenly, he feels it. The Force. The magnetic pull of live sweeping through them, not different as to when Poe would hang around their Force Tree back in Yavin. 

The stones start floating in a slow, smooth motion, making hypnotic little circles above Finn’s hand. 

Finn opens his eyes and studies his co-general, “you, ok?”

Poe meets the other’s warm eyes, understanding sinking into him as to why Finn hadn’t told him first about this; memories of the times Poe had let himself be vulnerable and had opened up to his friend about Ren’s torture coming back. He squeezed Finn’s hands again, “more than ok, buddy.”

***

It starts that night. Finn and Poe walk back to their shared room, hands a mere brush between the two. 

Poe collapses on his bed, leaving Finn eyeing the small couch with wary eyes.

“You know, my bed is big enough for two.” Poe shyly says to the man and almost laughs to the way Finn lights up to the proposition.

But it makes perfect sense. They take care of each other, everytime, no matter the nature of the problem; Poe will be damned before he doesn’t help his best friend, they are together in this.

If his mother had taught him to fly and to love it, his father had taught him that when you commit to doing something, you commit to going all the way or don’t do it at all— and so, they start to share a bed.

Finn crawls back to the warm and fuzzy sheets, sending a sleepy smile in Poe’s direction before passing out on the pillows. 

The pilot does his part, he leaves a polite distance between the two; although it feels like a heavy brick of ice. Poe can’t help but stare a bit, the warmth that radiates from his friend is inviting, the reigned peace on his face, delightful. 

He finds it surprisingly easy to fall asleep that night; moreover when one of Finn’s hands travels and falls right by his own, fingers touching with the slow rise of their bodies.

Poe is too tired to remind himself that even if Finn hadn’t confessed any feelings to Rey, it didn’t mean that he would want Poe in any other way than a platonic one. 

He’s so tired that he forgets all of that— so he intertwines their hands.

*** 

Everyday, the night falls on them without mercy, so they are forced to share a bed once all the lights are out. 

It quickly grows into a routine. In the morning, Poe’s up first, he showers listening to the soft sounds of Finn awakening and gets ready for the day (that way Poe learns that Finn likes to shower in the evening, letting the water wash away all the tension from the day). His friend dutifully waits for him as he gets ready, chatting a bit with Beebee, trying to improve his Binary— even after a year of practice, he can almost understand the droid fluidly.

Poe’s chest tightens every morning at how domestic the scene looks; waking up next to Finn, learning each other’s way to get ready and move, Finn happily humming nonsense or talking to Poe’s droid. It’s so easy to live like this, it hurts.

Along with the mornings, Poe’s nights improve too. He gets less and less nightmares and when he does, they are changed. 

He still sees the torture droid, goes hundreds of times through the same procedures, nearly feeling his tongue swallowed and his body shaking in pain; he watches as Ren gets into the chamber, the Force violently surfing his mind. This time, it doesn’t end there, it follows the pilot till a Stormtrooper picks him up to what Poe’s sure is his death.

But there’s no death and no Stormtrooper at all, instead Finn saves him all over again.

Poe opens his eyes and with a sudden motion he props himself up on his elbows. He clocks in his surroundings, panting hardly, his heart beating viciously against his ribs. 

His gaze stops. A sudden wave of care washes through him as he finds Finn, and just like the first time, Poe feels safe again.

For a brief second, Poe thinks he could handle all his pain and terrors with Finn saving him every  _ kriffing _ time. He bets Finn could make it work. 

His General is laying on his side facing him. Poe listens to the slow breathing of his friend, with each take in of air his heart slows. Then Poe flops back down on the pillows, running a hand through his hair; if the dream means what he thinks it means, he’s doomed. 

And just because he has no sense of self-preservation, Poe shifts in the mattress so that he can face Finn. 

Lines of care and worry have smoothed against Finn’s gentle features, eyelids closed against the dimmest light of his quarters.

Poe wants to reach out and touch the impossibly soft curve of his neck, put his lips against Finn’s own. He thinks about Finn for too long, and, oh. He thinks about Finn, and something twists in his chest, like a stretch he’s been avoiding for too long.

He isn’t exactly afraid of anything he feels. He’s not afraid of saying it. He’s only afraid of what happens when he does.

***

It’s their eight night sharing a bed when it happens. Poe is woken up by the sudden sounds beside him. Finn had been grunting and shifting in bed and now he is up and heavily breathing— Poe thinks he may be sobbing. 

“Lights.” It’s all Finn says.

Poe gets the command right away, almost tripping as he gets to the switch as soon as possible. The artificial brightness seems to help Finn a bit, although his friend stays panting and clenching his knees. 

Poe swallows and makes his way back slowly, his brain desperate to come up with a way to help his friend. He sits at the end of the bed, eyeing his friend with worry in his eyes, “hey, buddy.” He calls to Finn softly.

The younger man seems to regain a bit of composure at his call. Finn straightens up his back and wipes quickly his cheeks; Poe’s heart skips a few beats at the thought of his friend being afraid to show tears. 

“Hey.” Finn tries to say, but it comes out as a broken sob.

Poe moves closer, planting his hand on Finn’s shoulder experimentally; when Finn leans to the touch, he moves towards him, carefully enveloping his arms around the man. Finn shudders a bit under him but ultimately melts into Poe’s touch, still fighting back some tears. 

The pilot had learned just how touch-starved Finn is very quickly, so he had always tried to comply and hold his hand or give him lingering hugs that didn’t do any good to Poe’s own pining heart but seemed to ease his friend.

“It was them again,” Finn starts, “I know they are dead, this is ridiculous.”   


Poe stays quiet as he watches Finn pull himself together, breaking away from his arms but not necessarily out of reach. Finn’s gaze is filled with anger to the brim, but also, behind that, he’s scared, the shudders from the nightmares hadn’t left his body yet.

A spark of Finn relaxed with easy happiness appears in Poe’s brain. It isn’t from those endless meetings and training sessions, or during the cheers of victory and party after the battle; it’s an image from a few nights ago by a bonfire. 

Poe desperately wants to bring back that to Finn, so he commits one of his worst ideas to the date and starts singing the reason that first got them in the mess:

_ Howlin' green, green rocky road _

_ You promenade in green _

_ Tell me who you love _

_ Tell me who you love _

He’s sure his voice is terrible and off-tune but it does bring a smile to Finn’s face, who watches him carefully, pulling closer to the nervous pilot. 

So Poe keeps singing the lyrics he knows by heart, eyes locked on Finn’s, the pairing too close for Poe’s sanity to survive much longer.

He finishes the whispered song, a falling silence settling smoothly. Poe doesn’t dare to look away, or to even move; Finn’s calmed now and that’s about the only thing that really matters to him right now.

Finn shakes his head a bit, as if he couldn’t believe it, and lurches forward, stopping millimeters away from Poe’s lips. He’s staring at his mouth and slowly, drags his eyes to Poe’s own; they are so close, their eyelashes almost caress each other in the process.

“You’re such a dumbass, Poe Dameron.”

And with that, Finn kisses him in such way that he no longers feels scared, or conscious of anything but him. It’s so tenderly slow, Poe is sure the galaxy has stopped moving for a moment, just for them. 

When they break apart, they are both smiling brightly, a tension leaving Poe’s chest as he surges for another tiny and cosmic kiss. 

Finn laughs against his chest and it feels so ridiculously delicious Poe wonders if he’s going to ever be able to kiss someone else again— right now the prospect of Finn’s lips ever leaving him is one of the most dreadful nightmares he can think of.

“Sleep?” Finn asks against his mouth, sending silly shivers down Poe’s neck.

“Yeah.”   


They flop down to the mattress, a tangle of limbs and hopeful hearts in the open. Finn falls asleep to Poe humming random songs to his ear. 

_ I’m saving him right back _ , Poe thinks as he finally falls asleep.

***

Today, the governor of Ryloth is going back home, which means that both Generals don’t have anything mandatory till the sun brights in the middle of the sky.

Poe wakes up with a dead arm around his shoulders, his body completely curled up around Finn’s sleeping body. 

With the early light of Ajan Kloss, Finn’s curves and angles golden under his eyes. It’s painful to look away but gladly he doesn’t feel like he has to anymore, a hand wandering between Finn’s full, firm shoulders. 

Annoyingly lovesick as he is, he starts humming against Finn’s skin, marking each beat with a little kiss on Finn’s body. Poe sighs, his man is stunning, so beautiful just for him in the early morning.

Soon enough, he feels Finn waking up slowly— he had always taken longer than the pilot.

With an easy motion, Poe’s straddling him, hands caressing Finn’s sides as the man below him murmurs appreciatively. He smiles and props himself on his elbows so he can drag his lips across Finn’s cheeks, his cute nose and forehead, leaving sloppy marks along with cheap lyrics.

Finn slowly opens his eyes, “morning.” His voice coming out hoarse and deep.

“Morning, buddy.”

His motion now turning playful, annoying Finn with slow, wet kisses across his face and neck. He comes back to kiss his lips, stopping every two seconds to continue with the song. 

Finn breaks away this time as Poe’s “See that crow up in the sky?” interrupts them again. He’s about to make a snarky comment when suddenly he isn’t on top anymore.

The mattress sinks with Poe’s weight pressed on it now. Finn’s body settles over him with a warm, steady weight, one of his thighs sliding between Poe’s legs and his hands bracing he pillows, and Poe feels the point of contact like a static shock.

And then Finn bears down on him fully, covering every inch of Poe’s body and all the pilot can see it’s him; the way the light unravels between his muscles, the way his beating heart seems to matches Poe’s own.

Poe wants to match the scars along Finn's body to the stars above them and make him name the constellations.

“And you?” Finn asks, pulling him out of his hazy dream, “tell me who  _ you _ love.”

He swallows thickly, the words he had longed feared coming to him, “you.”

“I know.”

And this time, when Finn brings him to another all-devastating kiss, he’s smiling into it.

**Author's Note:**

> hope u guys liked it !


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